<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>bust your kneecaps by solarsirius</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28588995">bust your kneecaps</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/solarsirius/pseuds/solarsirius'>solarsirius</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, based off the song with the same name</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:20:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,025</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28588995</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/solarsirius/pseuds/solarsirius</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>you said you’d love me forever.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Lee Felix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>bust your kneecaps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>all the bolded words are lyrics to the song! </p><p>(bust your kneecaps - pomplamoose)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Johnny don't leave me.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"You're leaving me?"</p><p> </p><p>The way Chan spoke broke my heart, but I knew inside that I was truly doing the right thing.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry. I don't think this is working out." My voice cracked at the end of the sentence. I loved him, I really did—but we <em>needed</em> our relationship to end, for the sake of both of us. "We're not right for each other...please understand."</p><p> </p><p>Tears brimmed his eyes. An angry, distant expression was all I could see on his face. "I can't understand, Lix. What did I do wrong?"</p><p> </p><p>I watched as a tear fell from his left eye, slowly creeping down his cheek. I followed its daunting path and a sickly feeling filled my gut. "Nothing in particular. I just..." I sighed. I just wanted the breakup to go smoother than it was going, but of course he wanted to drag it out. Was I selfish for wanting him to not say a word, and just let me leave? Maybe I was, but I knew it wouldn't matter in the end. "We're not compatible. At least, not anymore."</p><p> </p><p>His eyes bore into my soul. "But I love you."</p><p> </p><p><em>I love you too</em>, I wanted to reply, but the thought of uttering those four words hurt like a knife in the heart. I couldn't, even if all I wanted to do was pull him close and express my utmost love for the boy.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>You said you'd love me forever.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"I know," I gulped, the looming feeling of guilt making me want to throw up. "I...I just don't think simply loving each other is enough for a good relationship, okay?" I tried to explain. "It's not just that, but we're so different. Our paths are in different directions. If we stayed together we'd only just be holding each other back." I hoped he would truly, genuinely understand. I needed him to.</p><p> </p><p>"You feel that way? Really?" I couldn't meet his gaze—I could just <em>feel</em> the hurt and betrayal radiating from his eyes. I nodded, prompting him to scoff. "You don't want to do this."</p><p> </p><p>His tone...it changed.</p><p> </p><p>I finally stared back, and was scared of what I saw. A gentle, small smile, one I'd never seen before on the boy's face. His face was dotted red, tears fell down his face, yet he <em>smiled.</em></p><p> </p><p>"Why not?" I inquired.</p><p> </p><p>Chan blinked. Blinked again. The smile disappeared.</p><p> </p><p>"You'll see."</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Honey believe me,</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>He turned and stormed out of the living room. "See? See what?" I called out, getting up and following him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I'll have your heart on a platter.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I followed him to his room, where he grabbed his phone.</p><p> </p><p>"What are you doing?" I stood over his shoulder and tried to look at the screen but he moved it from my view and locked eyes with me.</p><p> </p><p>"Just one more night, Felix. Please?"</p><p> </p><p>He was acting strange. I owed it to him, though. One last night together wouldn't hurt...maybe we could talk things through out, I could get him to understand my side more—anything to make him let this thing go.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay."</p><p> </p><p>That sadistic smile returned, and my heart skipped a beat. "Okay." he echoed, before exiting the bedroom, leaving me alone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Might you recall, we've got a small family business.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>An hour passed.</p><p> </p><p>I folded my clothes before setting them into my bag. This was his house, not mine, so I didn't have much to pack, but over the course of our three year relationship, our things had begun to mingle together. <em>Ah, I haven't seen that shirt in months,</em> I thought, in regards to a t-shirt I let him borrow one night. I never asked for it back, and somehow it got shoved to the bottom of his top drawer.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Fuck</em>," I pulled my hand back after a sharp pain erupted from my finger. A small cut had sliced its way across the tip of my thumb while I was sifting through clothing in the bottom drawer, one I never touched before. I gently moved some sweaters and pajama pants out of the way before coming across a small knife sitting at the bottom of the drawer, a dot of my own blood still on it. I groaned inwardly, knowing he'd kill me if I got blood on his clothing—wait, why was there a knife with his clothes? I reached forward, grabbed it by the handle, and lifted it up. The light from the bedside table lamp reflected in the shiny metal dotted with red. It had his initials carved into the wooden handle. <em>Weird</em>. In the hazy reflection I saw a dark shape forming behind me so I set the object down, my heart practically in my throat.</p><p> </p><p>"Sorry you hurt yourself," came Chan's soft voice from the doorway. "I didn't know you'd be looking in that drawer."</p><p> </p><p>"It's okay," I mumbled back before licking the blood that was on my finger. I felt his presence drawing nearer. "Why was it in there anyway?" I asked, turning to look up at him.</p><p> </p><p>That damn smile. That chilling, stupid fucking smile. I wanted to rip it from his face. I watched him kneel down beside me, come close, and my heart began to pound as he drew nearer. His breath brushed my neck.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>And the family won't</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"What are you doing?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>like</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>His hand gripped my neck and I panicked.</p><p> </p><p>"STOP—"</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <strong>this.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I felt the hard impact of my head against wood, cutting my words off.</p><p> </p><p>My vision blurred, iron was all I could taste. He smiled at me in that dim lighting, dark shapes beginning to surround him from my fucked up vision. I coughed, warm blood coming up along with it, and tears pricked at my eyes.</p><p> </p><p>My arms were being held onto tightly by cold hands, dragging me across the floor while my shirt rode up and caused me to scream. My skin rubbed against the hallway's carpet—it burned, shredded, and tore—soon I yelled in agony, but he didn't care.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>They'll bust your kneecaps.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"Please stop oh-oh my God—" My head spun, I couldn't see straight. My body thumped down the stairs, my skin sore and raw, my wrists bruised and bleeding.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Ooh, wop dee do wop dee do.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I winced when he roughly let me go, and I immediately tried to get to my feet, recognizing my surroundings as being the downstairs guest room, with its perfectly straight sheets on the bed and spotless floor—just the way Chan liked everything in that house to be. He grabbed me before I could tear past him and escape, and, him being bigger than me, successfully threw me away from the door and onto the bed, crumpling the perfect, flat duvet and staining it with my warm blood.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>They'll bust your kneecaps.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I stared up at him with painful, teary eyes, too weak and exhausted to move after the near-concussion he gave me and from knocking the wind out of me. His facial expression was unreadable—blank and his eyes were cold.</p><p> </p><p>How could the one who swore he loved me hurt me like this?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Ooh, wop dee do wop dee do.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"Listen to me."</p><p> </p><p>I didn't move, nor say anything in response. What was I to do other than hear what he had to say?</p><p> </p><p>He took my silence as me listening and continued, "I honestly can't believe you," he hissed. "You really think you can just <em>leave me?</em> Really?" he scoffed and took a step closer, an angry yet somehow amused expression on his face. "You're so stupid sometimes...you knew this would happen."</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Johnny, you told me you were no fool, you were no chump.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>In a sense, I did, truly, though not to that extent. I didn't know too much but I knew his family wasn't the type to mess around when it came to love and commitment—and if any outsider hurt one of the beloved family members in any way, they would pay.</p><p> </p><p>It was my turn to pay.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Then you got cold feet</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"Are you scared? You know, you don't have to do this. We can forget any of this ever happened, live happily beside one another for the rest of our lives...because, you know, I cannot live without you."</p><p> </p><p>I stared at the ceiling, just wanting him to shut up. Guilt, fear—it was all swirling inside me and I wanted to throw up from the anxiety.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Now all you'll be is a speed bump.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>He came even closer, coming to sit down at the end of the bed and I flinched. He took a glance at my body then back to my eyes. "Please. Don't do this to me. I don't want to hurt you."</p><p> </p><p>"Th-then don't," I spit out with difficulty, "you <em>insane</em> motherfucker." I watched as my words hit him deep and he glared at me, tears beginning to prick at his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>It's something we call, oh, just a small family business.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>He stared for a few more seconds before opening his mouth, "I thought you'd be the one who'd stay forever. Huh. Turns out I was wrong." he shook his head, his tongue poking at his cheek, something he usually did when he was seriously pissed off.</p><p> </p><p>"Please, just let me go..." I groaned. "I promise I won't turn you in or anything. I just want to live in peace."</p><p> </p><p>He chuckled, almost in disbelief, staring off into a random place on the wall. "That's not this works, honey." he turned his head to look at me and that familiar smile was plastered on his face. "No one in the family suffers without revenge."</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>And the family won't like this.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>We stared at each other before he continued.</p><p> </p><p>"They'll kill you, you know."</p><p> </p><p>"I know."</p><p> </p><p>"Then stay with me, Felix. Why are you making this so difficult?" Chan pleaded, getting up to stand above my motionless body.</p><p> </p><p>"We're not meant for each other. You'll find someone else, just let me go." I said, the desperation clear in my voice. "Please, please, please. I don't wanna die."</p><p> </p><p>Silence rang out between us.</p><p> </p><p>Our eyes locked and I wanted to break into tears—that face that I loved for so long, trusted so deeply; now it's one that I fear and wish to never see again. How could this happen? I knew his family was close but I didn't know they were willing to take things far enough to harm someone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>God, what have I gotten myself into?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>They'll bust your kneecaps.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"It's not my choice what happens to you. I just want you to stay with me. If not, well...it's our family's code. It must be followed."</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Ooh, wop dee do wop dee do.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I didn't respond. My body ached, my heart did too—both from losing the one I loved and from the dramatic turn of events that I never thought would happen. If I was to die, I hoped it would at least be quick.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>They'll bust your kneecaps, that's what they're going to do.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"Just let me go, you psychopath. You really think I would stay with you after <em>this?</em>" I shook my head slowly, trying not to wince at the pain it brought forth. "This doesn't even feel real," I whispered. I then swallowed thickly, feeling a lump in the back of my throat as new thoughts erupted into my mind. What about my family? My friends? Was leaving them so I don't have to live a lie selfish of me?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Johnny, there's still time.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, I <em>could</em> let you go," he said, a small smile decorated upon his face. "but it wouldn't feel the same if I didn't get to see your death."</p><p> </p><p>"If you love me, why do you want me to die?" I choked out. How didn't I know I was in love with someone like him, who wouldn't hesitate to hurt me? How did he bury his true self so easily?</p><p> </p><p>"I don't want you to die, hun," he cooed in a sweet, familiar tone, the corners of his lips turning up higher. "You're just making things difficult..."</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Together I know, we'd go so far.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"No, you are." I retorted, my voice wavering. "You and every other sick fuck in your family will pay for this, mark my fucking words."</p><p> </p><p>"You're the fourth boy to break my heart, what makes you think you're so special? You think you'll save the day, win in the end? Newsflash, you won't. This isn't some fairytale."</p><p> </p><p>It took a moment for his words to sink in, and panic flared up within me. <em>He was right.</em> This was the real world, not some superhero film where the villain failed in his attempt to finally murder his nemesis, the hero.</p><p> </p><p>If I didn't comply with his single wish, I would be dead—and no one would be able to avenge me.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I'll tell Uncle Rocco to call off the guys with the crowbars.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>No—even with death on the horizon, I won't give up.</p><p> </p><p>"What about everyone else in my life? You'll leave them alone, won't you?"</p><p> </p><p>"Who do you think I am? A serial killer?" he scoffed, crossing his arms across his chest. "We don't care about anyone else but you."</p><p> </p><p>"Why can't you just let me go? I don't want to die," I pleaded. "We could still be friends, just see other people, you know?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>You call it crime, we call it smart family business.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"No."</p><p> </p><p>My heart sank.</p><p> </p><p>"That's not enough for me. Sorry." he added.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>And the family is famous.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>(Let's bust some kneecaps).</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I screwed up my face, breaking our eye contact to stare up at the popcorn ceiling. I could feel my heart beating quickly in my chest, tears fell from my eyes, I felt as though I was breathing in fire. Anxiety flooded through me—I was so young, so happy—why did I have to die? It wasn't fair, all I did was break up for the greater good of the two of us.</p><p> </p><p>Was death really a worthy punishment for breaking someone's heart? Why would his family think that way?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Bust your kneecaps, ooh, bust your kneecaps.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"I guess you've finally decided." he spoke up startling me from my thoughts. I looked at him through teary eyes, flashbacks of our many happy days flooding back to me in my head. "I'm sorry it turned out this way. But, you know, you can only blame yourself." Chan stepped forward, coming close to hover over my body. I didn't move.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>It's such a shame that you became such an issue.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>He bent down, his lips brushed mine. Oh, how I wanted to pull him close and taste his lips, dig my fingers into his soft blond curls, but I Iaid still, not wanting to give in to what I knew was his final ploy to try and pull me in. I valued my pride, and I'd wear it to death.</p><p> </p><p>His tongue lightly ran across my bottom lip, his right arm was holding him up next to my head. His eyes bore into my soul, those same eyes I fell deep in love with. Now they felt empty, angry even—not at all like the man I used to love.</p><p> </p><p>He pulled away, his smile gone.</p><p> </p><p>"Not even a kiss goodbye?"</p><p> </p><p>I wiped my wet cheeks, all the while ignoring him. I could feel his stare, but I didn't dare look over to meet his gaze. My thumb lightly grazed the crumpled blanket below me, feeling its soft fluffiness between my fingers. My eyes caught a framed picture of his smiling parents on the shelf across from the bed, and hot anger flared inside me.</p><p> </p><p>"You know what?" I snapped, finally locking eyes with Chan. "Fuck you." Gathering all my energy, I sprang to my feet, pushed past him, and flew out the bedroom door with every ounce of speed I could muster. Not risking looking back to see if he was following, I threw open the front door and ran down the sidewalk, not caring that I was shoeless and in a light t-shirt in the cold, nighttime spring weather. I sprinted without stopping, my feet turning sore and my breath coming out ragged, adrenaline pumping through my veins as I realized I <em>was</em> safe. He was really dumb for not locking the front door.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Oh, dear Johnny, I'll miss you.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>I stopped for a brief moment to catch my breath, looked back, and my heart practically stopped when in the distance I saw two looming figures dressed entirely black—both of them coming straight for me.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Fuck</em>." I didn't take a moment more time, I sped off, ignoring the burn in my legs and lungs, knowing my entire life was on the line if I slowed down. But of course, the hero doesn't always win, at least not in the real, evil-filled world.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>They'll bust your kneecaps, that's what they're going to do.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Cold, rough hands grabbed me.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>No!</em>" I yelled, before my body was grabbed by someone much larger than me, putting their hand over my mouth. I was dragged away, I tried to kick and pull myself free but it was no use, whoever had a hold on me was stronger and wasn't willing to let go.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>They'll bust your kneecaps, probably some other stuff too.</strong>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Next thing I knew I was thrown to the ground, back inside Chan's house, surrounded by dark figures above me. Every ounce of hope I had had been sucked away, leaving me feeling empty and tired—maybe I just wanted to die already, so I wouldn't have to feel this pain and regret any longer. <em>Please, just kill me now.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>They'll bust your kneecaps, ooh wop dee do wop dee do.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"I told you, Lix," Footsteps drew nearer. Chan's voice drowned out my thoughts. "You can never hide from us."</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>They'll bust your kneecaps, ooh yeah, they're coming for you.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"Goodbye, honey."</p><p> </p><p>Brown eyes locked with brown eyes.</p><p> </p><p><em>Bang</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Silence.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Bust your kneecaps.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Ooh, bust your kneecaps.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Bust your kneecaps.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Ooh, bust your kneecaps.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>║▌│█║▌│█║▌│█│║▌║</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>